The new normal.

Apr 10, 2012 by abbie

Whenever something big changes there’s always the question, “Will life ever feel normal again?”, and that’s a hard question to answer. I guess it depends on what your definition of normal is. When you’ve lost something or someone who has been a major presence in your life the answer is no, things will never be the same as they were. That’s the bad news.

But there is good news, kinda. The good news is that eventually there will be a new normal. New experiences, new situations, new routines that will sadly be made without what you lost – and as such not have associated with them the emptiness of what was lost. Eventually that newness becomes your normal. It’s really quite bittersweet, it’s the reality that life goes on. It doesn’t mean that you’ll ever forget them, but you adjust to the fact that they’re no longer there. The ache of things “not being right” dulls and you’re able to start enjoying things for how they are now rather than what they could have been.

It’s something that most people look forward to with mixed emotions. In some ways, the pain and unease help to tie you to how things were, the way you wanted them to be. Moving through and past this sometimes feels counter to how you want to be. But, it’s part of what’s beautiful of how God created our minds. With each passing moment, time softens the extreme emotions we once felt, lightening the load, easing the pain. Depending on the magnitude of the loss, those things may never fully go away, but each day brings about it a sense of the new normal and before you know it years have passed.

Hopefully, with the passing of time you are able to look back and remember what was lost fondly rather than with much pain, be able to smile rather than sigh, laugh rather than cry. Yes, one day life will feel normal once again, but a different normal, a new normal.

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