I think about communication a lot, partly because I think “miscommunication” is at the core of most of our day to day issues. But what I’ve been learning recently is that it’s not even miscommunication that’s the problem, but what those misunderstood words or feelings trigger inside of us.

A humorous example:

A few weeks ago my sister sent me this text…

Her: “Ps. We are out tonight and I bought a wrap ”

So, that probably doesn’t mean much to you, but this was my response: “Haha, for shame! Just kidding, hope it was everything you hoped and dreamed it would be…”

Now you’re probably even more confused, as she and I were when she replied: ”Yes, got the wrap from Ebay… love the material.”

You see, I was juicing at the time and had moments before seen a commercial for a new McDonald’s wrap that looked amazing, but I’m sure tastes absolutely disgusting, like the rest of their stuff. So she said she was out and had bought a wrap, I knew that in general she was trying and succeeding in eating well and the thought of her eating a wrap seemed like such a weird thing.

However, when I got the next text it cleared things up significantly, you see, she had been researching woven wraps – the kind you carry older babies around in on your back…not the kind you eat. The kind you find for less expensive on Ebay, not the kind you get for cheap at McDonald’s.

Well, that was embarrassing. Thankfully my sister is awesome and wasn’t offended in the least at my reply. In fact, she thought it was hilarious - because she’s awesome. I easily explained that I had food on my mind and misunderstood, we both laughed and moved on.

Why was it so easy to get over it? Because she knows and trusts my heart, she gave me the benefit of the doubt. As I’ve thought about it more, I don’t think that it’s so much misunderstanding what people say that’s the problem, but rather, that misunderstanding triggers something within us – a feeling most likely stronger than warranted in the situation, and that feeling makes us doubt the good heart and intentions of the other person. It’s that lack of trust and accompanying insecurity that makes us respond defensively and with hurtful responses.

Is this accurate? Think about it. If I said “shame on you” to you for something you did and were excited about, how would you respond? Probably not as well as she did. If you said that to me… I don’t think I’d respond as well as she did.

It seems to me that it’s much less what is said then it is how what’s said is taken. But what would happen if we decided to give people in general the benefit of the doubt? What if people were innocent until proven guilty? What if mean people had to correct us when we take what they say better than they intended it? I think we’d have happier happy people and confused mean people.

Reminds me of, “heaping hot coals on their head”, or some modern day equivalent. It’s something to think about at very least.

Happy Thursday!

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MAC

What an interesting day. Weird even. Ok, so it wasn’t even so much that strange things happened, but I felt weird about it. Work was ordinary, but all day I’ve been trying to process through some pretty weighty things. It feels like I’ve been working on a puzzle and bit by bit it’s come together. It’s like I can see the shapes and color patterns, but I’m still missing some very important pieces. I know what the puzzle’s going to be, I just haven’t finished it yet.

After work I had a list of mundane things to do, like the bank for work and myself, get gas, etc. I made the first few stops but held off on the gas because I had a specific station I wanted to go to. The evening progressed, had dinner, stopped at my sister’s (who as it turned out wasn’t even there), decided I wanted some coffee, which I grabbed, and I headed over to my appointment for the evening. On the way I knew I had to stop for gas, only, I missed the exit – no worries, I had another station that generally had pretty good prices that I would hit up on the way.

*Now, for clarification on the next part of this: I mind my own business in public. I’m a focused, project orientated person – so much so that I’ve been known to walk right past people I know without even realizing it. When I go to a gas station it is for the sole purpose of pumping gas into my car. I don’t go to meet guys, I don’t go to make friends, I don’t go to have conversations. Regardless of this fact, strangers like to talk to me. I don’t know why. Let’s continue.

Pulling into the station, I saw a person in a car, stopped near the door of the building like they were waiting for a pump, then a few moments later, they pulled around to the other side of the pump that I was on. She seemed confused or flustered, having to turn the car around because she wasn’t sure which side the gas tank was on. I just vaguely caught these details because like I said, I mind my own business, I’m introverted like that and I had plenty on my mind to occupy myself.

Just as I was getting out of my car, the young woman walked tentatively up to me and said, “Do you have a dollar or two I can have? I only have change to put into my tank and I need to get to Bristol.” (Which is about 20-30 minutes away) I have to say, I was completely caught off guard and almost brushed her off. But she really seemed distraught – not crying, but like she was just in a really rough situation.

Now, lest I come off looking good in this, let’s just say I tend to think the worst of strangers who walk up to me and ask for money. I don’t know, I’ve just heard enough to put doubts about their sincerity and/or my safety in these situations. In a moment’s flash I thought, “What if that car’s stolen, which is why she didn’t know which side the tank was on and why she seems so nervous and by giving her money I’m enabling her to get away!” Dramatic? Yes. But hey, it could happen. Generally speaking when people ask me for money I keep walking. But in this case, I wasn’t walking to begin with and, I don’t know, she just seemed different. For a second I thought, “What if she tries to mug me and take all of my money?” But if she tried something I think I could have taken her, so, totally uncharacteristically of me I said, “Sure.” Which seemed to shock both of us.

So I got back in my car to pull out a “few bucks” when I realized that while I generally don’t carry any cash, I just so happened to have stopped at the bank a few hours before and had a wad of 20′s in my wallet, but that was it, 20′s. No 1′s, no 5′s, not even 10′s, but 20′s. Now this whole generosity thing started to hurt a little bit.

But then I stopped and listened for just a second and Jesus said, “You can be stingy, or you can really make her day.” So I smiled, and handed her a 20 dollar bill. Now we were both really shocked. She offered to go inside and get me change, but at that point I was enjoying it too much. “No worries, keep it.” I said. I wanted her to know it was God and not me, so I lamely said, “Well, God bless you.” Which is totally not something I generally say and as such probably sounded a bit awkward, it’s a little too churchy for me, but given the situation I was glad I was pulled together enough to even get that out.

I don’t know if she really needed the money, but I think she did. I don’t know where she was going or what was going on in her life. She seemed really grateful, which made me feel a bit embarrassed, but all in all, I’m glad I was there to help. And, while I wish I was a little more pulled together through the whole thing, I trust that God can use even my awkward, “God bless you” for some sort of good.

So, that was my day.

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MAC

Ps. Reminds me of that old Smash Mouth songs that says:

“Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep, what a concept
I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little change”

There is such a fine line between needing support and taking responsibility, between rightly relying on others and letting them control your happiness, between living in community and being co-dependent. Honestly, I don’t know many people who have found a great balance in these areas.

I think our personalities, coupled with our circumstances, lean us to one side or the other. Some of us have the tendency to be over reliant on others, while others have the tendency to be too independent. But the reality is that whether we like it or not, we live in community. At times we can’t accomplish a task alone and there are times that if we want something done we need to be the ones to do it.

Galatians 6 has some interesting thoughts on this dynamic. In verse 2 it says that we should carry each other’s burdens, while just 3 verses later we are told to carry our own burdens. Is this a contradiction? Not at all. The point is that we live in community and as such have a responsibility to help others, carrying the burden that would be far too difficult if left to one person. But within that community we each have our part. Growing up in a large family this always seemed very clear: as the youngest there was a lot that I couldn’t do – which meant that someone else needed to do those things, but as a functioning part of the family there was plenty that I could do, and they needed me to do that so other’s could be free to help in areas I couldn’t. We each had to bear our own loads, while being there to help the family as a whole as we were able.

Recently I’ve been seeing this played out in my own life. I’m realizing that there are areas that I simply need help in and others that I need to take the responsibility for. One of these areas is my emotions. This one is tricky because the actions of others affect us – simple as that. But how we react to those actions is up to us and has an even greater impact on our state of mind.

For example: My “love language” is quality time. We could hang out, we can go somewhere, we can just talk, but the bottom line is, if I’m building relationship with you,  you’ll have my time. Because of this I can’t invest in a ton of people all at once, there simply isn’t enough time to do that. The result, my time and the people I invest it in are very important to me, I’m loyal and can have the tendency to guard my time. One of the ways I feel most loved and appreciated is by people want to spend time with me and when they respect and are considerate my time. On the flip side, when people seem disinterested, uncommitted or disrespectful of my time the result is a very frustrated Abbie.

But am I right to be hurt and upset when people don’t value me and my time? I’m not sure. The thing is, most people who interact with my time in displeasing ways aren’t really out to purposely hurt me, they just aren’t paying attention and that has an affect on me. So, with my knowledge of how I was made, I’ve learned that I can better communicate with others about what my expectations are. While I need to interact with them, I want to interact with them, and enjoy interacting with them, I can also do my part by managing my time in a healthy way and make those interactions even more meaningful. It also means recognizing the things that I don’t like done to me and avoiding doing them to others. If I like prompt responses, then I should promptly respond. If I like definite answers for planning purposes, then I should give them as well. If I like people to keep their appointments, I should do my best to not reschedule unless necessary.

Your part and me part. Community and responsibility. It all goes together. When we base our happiness on the actions of others we’ll inevitably be disappointed at some point, but when we take proper responsibility for our part, other’s will find their part a whole lot easier to carry.

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MAC

I’m not sure when it started, but it’s been here for a really long time. For longer than I can remember I’ve wanted to go on a missions trip. There were those fun looking ones in middle school, there was the Ireland trip that I did all of the research for and my sister went on instead, there was India, there was Moldova, and most recently there was a summer leading music… but none came to pass.

I’ve been feeling, just in general recently, that everything I’m attempting falls flat. Like nothing I try succeeds. So, for the past few weeks I’ve been trying to figure out why that is. You see, I truly believe that absolutely nothing is impossible for God. If He wants something to happen, it will. It’s often quoted in the missions world, “God’s work done God’s way will never lack God’s supply”, and I believe this and have seen this.

So, the question begs to be asked, why can’t I go on a missions trip?

I think one of the hardest parts of the Christian life is when things that we think are good and must be God’s will don’t work. I mean, wouldn’t God want me to go on a missions trip? Humanly speaking, I would think the answer must be yes, yet, here I am.

Here are some things I know:

1. God has a plan for everyone’s life (mine included) (Jer. 29:11)
2. That each of us was created to do good works that God has planned from long ago (Eph 2:10)
3. We are all called to live missionally. (Matt. 16:15)

So, with that, here’s the conclusions I’m coming to:

I know God has a plan, and that plan involves things for me to do. Simple enough. So, if I’m feeling as if I’m not walking in those things it’s due to 1 of 3 options: 1. I’m missing what God has for me/looking in the wrong direction. 2. I don’t yet have all of the training needed to fulfill what God has for me/it’s not the right time. 3. I’m doing what God has for me right now, and am not satisfied.

Honestly, I’m not sure I can say with confidence which one I think applies to me right now, but it’s at least something interesting to think and pray about. A few months ago someone said to me, “You may be overly focused on one direction, remember, there’s 4 points on a compass, you may need to take some time to look around.” So, I’ve been trying to do that, to no immediate avail, but it’s a good thought nonetheless.

What I’ve really been focusing on recently is my definition of living missionally. Knowing that this is important, I’ve tried to live up to my definition, but I think my definition has been off. You see, I think I categorized living missionally too narrowly. In my mind “mission” was Gospel outreach, generally in another country or maybe social justice outreach here or abroad with a Gospel center. Now, I don’t think that’s a bad definition, just too narrow. At it’s very root, what is missional living? Well, it’s living with a mission, a purpose, a goal. Under this definition, living with a mission can be done anywhere and involves many works and focuses.

I think one of my biggest insecurities about going on a missions trip is that I’m not a gifted evangelist. Now, this doesn’t mean I never share my faith, on the contrary, it does mean that I have other areas of equal value that I am gifted in – and I more often operate in those. So, for the past few days I’ve been wondering about my mission. What am I here to do that only I can do? Working with my God given skill sets, talents and gifts, what is my mission?

Well, for one, I believe that I’m here to help support world mission – even if I never go on a missions trip myself. I also believe that discipleship and basic education is something very lacking in the Church. What happens to people once they believe? I have a teaching gift and desire to see the brokenness brought on by sin healed and brought to wholeness. This energizes me. I get excited just thinking about it. This is my mission, this is my part in the Body of Christ, someone’s got to be here waiting when the evangelists bring people in! And it’s me!

Now, with this further understand of who God made me, I’m starting to shift my focus. That’s not to say that I’ll never “go on a missions trip”, I’d still like to, but rather I’m looking around at how I can work out my mission right here where I am.

How about you? What’s your mission?

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MAC

Sometimes I wish I was still blissfully ignorant. There’s a large part of me that says, “I wish I could just go back and enjoy things the way they were. Back when things were simple. Back when I knew everything.” I’m not sure if it’s age, experience, or something else, but as much as I may wish to, I can’t unlearn what I now know.

In a large part, what I’ve learned is that I don’t know nearly as much as I thought!

Now, before I get much farther, maybe I should specify what I know less about. Well, pretty much everything, but more specifically I’m talking about how we as Christians practice our religion. Now, I’m not a big fan of the term “religion” (and you can read more of my thoughts on that HERE) but as a general term, yes, in it’s simplest definition, Christianity is a religion. As such, we who hold to this follow with certain practices, tenets of the faith, or maybe even sacraments. One of the beauties that I see available to us as we seek to follow Christ is our freedom of expression in these areas.

The Bible, specifically in the Epistles, is pretty clear about the key elements that make up Christian worship. Now again, I speak of worship including but not limited to simply singing. Rather, I speak about the basics that are included in the gathering together of believers. And while specifics are laid out clearly, the hows of carrying that out are relatively few.

My takeaway: How we do these things is much less important than the fact that we do indeed do them.

This, while incredibly freeing, leaves a lot of room for interpretation. Should certain elements be practiced daily? Weekly? Monthly? Yearly? Or at no specified increment? Can we do them alone or does there need to be a group? Which part of the gathering should be the focus? Which should take the most time? Which should be given priority over the others, if any? If none, then should everything be given exactly the same focus and time? Really, the questions and resulting combinations are endless. This (aside from difference in doctrine, which won’t be addressed here) accounts for much of the variation we see among churches, specifically here in America, but really across the world.

While I was brought up with one specific way of looking at the structure of “church” I have since visited many different types of gatherings. My initial reaction was often, “This is strange, it must be wrong.” However, I’ve learned that this simply isn’t the case. Different doesn’t mean wrong, it means different. Now, personally, I do think that given the passages of the Bible we have to work with, there are some formats that are perhaps better suited to functioning as the Bible lays out – and this is where many people get judgmental.

Recently I was sitting down thinking of the handful of gatherings that I frequent, each very unique and different from one another. I found myself slicing and dicing them apart and sticking them all back together into what I thought would be the ideal set up. It went something like this:

I want the music from this church paired with the teaching of that one. Then we’d use the format of this other one tempered by the flexibility of another. We would meet here, but with room enough to all come together like over there. The leadership would function like so, and every part of the body will work together and have it’s place and function like that.

And that, would be my perfect church.

The problem is that nowhere like that exists. And never will. And even if it did, it would have problems of it’s own.

I love the fact that, at least for right now, I have a lot of freedom and often visit many different expressions of the Body of Christ. But the downside of being a church connoisseur is that it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that different doesn’t mean wrong. In fact, in a way, it’s how I find my perfect church. Every gathering has it’s strengths and weaknesses, but for those who claim the name of Jesus Christ, trusting that He is the only admission we have into a right relationship with God, and seeking to live our lives in a way that is set apart to Him – then I can worship Him with you, I can work alongside you, and I can dialog with you about the areas that we differ.

A few years ago I visited a friend in Montana. While there, we attended two different churches and talked about a third. The first service was a mid-week meeting in an old movie theater called “Skull Church”. The group is an outreach to teens and young adults and based off of the meaning of Golgotha (where Christ was crucified), which means the place of the skull. Everything about this gathering appealed to a very specific type of person, yet the pastor consistently preached the same solid message that he preached on Sunday at his more traditional church location. In the same town there is a church simply called, “Cowboy Church”. Here, the service times are set around times that cowboys and workers on the many ranches in the area would find convenient to attend. The music is decidedly more acoustic and the mean age range much older. Lastly we attended what most people would consider your average American Sunday service. Each of these services were “Christian” and each were held in the same town, they were also each decidedly different from one another. Different, not wrong.

I’ve been learning that there are major issue and there are minor issues – and it’s really important that we keep that in perspective. Yes, I too often say, “I want this, not that”, but when it comes right down to it, if you love my Jesus, we’re good.

ps. I would like to reiterate that I’m talking about form and function, not foundational doctrines.

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MAC

Remember Seinfeld? Remember “Yada, yada, yada”? Remember how everyone and their great aunt was saying it for a little while (darn pop culture references)? Well actually, Seinfeld totally used the term out of context, do you know what it actually means?

I know.

No, seriously, that’s what it means, “I know”. Yada is the Hebrew term that expresses understanding, knowledge and a sense of fully knowing. Now you know.

But, wait, there’s more.

For the last few Sundays I’ve been attending a video series (well technically it was a DVD series, cause, you know, no one actually watches videos anymore) called, “Love and Respect”. It was shot at a conference and based on the book by the same name. For the record, the DVD series was really good, the book – not so much. Not sure how that happened, but let’s just go with it.

Anyway, the whole premise of the conference was that the root need of women is love and the root need of men is respect, only, while women are really great at showing love we’re not so natural with the respect thing, and while men are great at expressing respect they tend to be a little shy in the love area. In fact, we’ll often find ourselves on a cycle: when women feel unloved, they react with disrespect and when men feel disrespected they react in unloving ways. It’s a mess really. Hence, the Bible’s command that husbands should love their wives and wives should respect their husbands. Long story short, after 3 weeks and 5 sessions we came to the clincher: but what if the other person isn’t doing their part? The answer, we need to do our part anyway resulting in unconditional love and unconditional respect.

And, while there’s certainly many more details involved in this, it’s an interesting theory that I think rings true. From my experience, most (if not all) women I’ve talked to long to be loved, but not just loved, to be loved for who they really are. A trademark of high school relationships is changing to be what the other person wants – I’ve seen this most it girls, but I’m sure it happens with guys too. The problem is, no mater how well you conform to that other person, you’re still you, and someday that will pop out – probably unexpectedly – and what then? What happens when you are truly known?

Now, that’s not to say we can’t do things for each other that are uncharacteristic or slightly unnatural. I once had a guy watch a 5 hour BBC historical drama on his own simply so he could intelligently converse with me about my favorite movie – that was incredibly awesome and sweet, but common interests alone don’t make a relationship work. The reality was, he preferred watching zombie shows and I lean toward Jane Austin films… some things just don’t mesh in the long run (among other things of course).

On the other hand, I think most guys are really longing (do guys long? If you’re a guy feel free to insert the appropriate descriptor there) for unconditional respect. Sure, we can all respect the person who succeeds, who climbs the corporate ladder, who wins the game, who conquers the foe. But for most people (women included) big events like that are the result of seemingly mundane choices. Does he have your respect then? How about when things don’t go well, when ideas turn out to be bad, when he loses, when he’s wrong? What then?

I think this is where, for both genders, fear of intimacy comes into play. Sure, if I keep you at arms length you could probably love me. If I only show myself with full makeup and my cutest outfits on my most cheerful days, you’d probably love me. If I only saw your achievements, and only heard your praises, if I was exposed to only your strengths then sure, I could respect you. But that kind of love and respect will never truly satisfy because we all know deep down that we can’t keep that up forever. Can you ever truly be secure in someone’s love or respect without knowledge?

I know of a couple who, when they had been dating for a little while he made a series of majorly bad decisions. Everyone was upset at him, family, friends, coworkers –  and rightfully so. But through that horrible time of exposure his girlfriend stuck by him, supported and believed in him. Bolstered by her support he worked his way out of the hole he had dug for himself and started over, and you better believe he married her as soon as he could.

Because that’s when you know it’s real – when you are exposed for who you really are and that love and respect is still there.

I think that’s why it’s so amazing that God loves us so much. God, the one who knows everything about everyone, knows us fully yet still loves us. I don’t know about you, but I find that to be incredible. What security! Knowing our past as well as our future, He still loves us – fiercely. Oh to be known AND loved. It doesn’t get much better than that.

“Love so groundless, grace so boundless, wins my heart.”

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MAC

How we perceive reality is really amazing! There’s been more than one occasion where I’ve been comparing notes with someone on a conversation we both heard, and ask in my mind, “Were we in the same room?” Our perceptions are just so different. This can sometimes act in our favor, other times not so much.

Recently I’ve been surprised at how different things sound to me than they do to others (or at least how they report things to have sounded.) For the past several months I’ve been playing music at a local church for their Friday services. The group has been in transition and we’ve been figuring out the details as we go. My part in this has been interesting.

One thing that has been most surprising to me has been how positive the responses have been even in the midst of what I would consider some pretty rough sets. Strings are popping right and left, chord progressions are off, words are forgotten, chords are rough or straight up wrong… and yet the response is overwhelmingly positive. How does that happen? There has been more than one time that I’ve wondered after a set, “You can’t have heard what I heard?”

On the flip side, there’s been more than once that the set sounded fuller than I knew it to be, like far more people were mic’d than I could see. It was admittedly really cool.

After recording this past weekend I was met with the same uncertainty. I think listening to a recording of yourself is one of the strongest tests of self-acceptance there is. Mistakes that will pass during a live session become overwhelmingly clear when recorded. But even there the feedback I got was very positive. Now, admittedly, some of that was due to the fact that I have very loving and supportive friends and family, but I also think that what they heard was different than what I heard.

What I’ve come to realize is this: God wants to use us. There are plenty of artists that I hear and under strict analytical evaluation, they really aren’t spectacular musicians or singers or whatever – yet they’re extremely popular, more than that, God uses them and is glorified through them. This leads me to believe that even in our weakness God can use what we allow Him for great good.

I think of the line from the hymn that says, “Tune my heart to sing your praise.” The take away is that if our hearts are tuned to God, He’s more than capable of tuning our voices, instruments, skills – and even the ears of those listening. It’s not about how great or not we are, it’s about letting God use whatever part of us He wants to.

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MAC

Here is my second installment in my Adventures in Downsizing saga. To read the first, head over to HERE.

I find it funny that I consider this move to be “downsizing”, as it has required some downsizing, but it’s also “moving up”. Confusing, I know. But it’s true.

True space wise, my current situation and the new are relatively similar, however the layout is vastly different. In the same amount of space I have now, I’m taking out my huge closet and adding in a kitchenette and bathroom. Similar square footage, but much “less” space and more items needed to make the space functional (ie: kitchen items). However, smaller though it may be, that addition of a kitchen space to myself…priceless.

In my opinion, any move is a great excuse to get rid of stuff. Actually, in my opinion, simply having too much stuff is a good excuse to get rid of stuff – but moving is an even better excuse. It’s so easy to acquire unnecessary stuff, even if you’re trying not to, it just happens. So, a concerted effort of de-cluttering is necessary in most of our lives. So, with the pending move getting closer and closer, I started looking to deal with the unnecessaries.

Last Saturday we had a garage/tag sale at my sister’s house and I’m happy to say I was able to make at least a few bucks. There were some larger pieces that I’ve been hanging onto, and I still like, but simply don’t have the room to keep. These all sold and accounted for most of my income from the sale. I also had a bunch of little stuff that I simply marked $1 each and called it a day, some of that went and some of it got donated to another sale being held in a few weeks. Lastly, my mid-range stuff – This fell into two categories: stuff I didn’t want and will sell or donate and other stuff that I still kind of wanted but would happily part with it if I could get my asking price. The first group of stuff I priced “low” or at least lower than I would have wanted to sell it for. The second I priced high, which in my mind would justify selling it. All in all I sold most of what I wanted to sell and didn’t sell the stuff I didn’t really want to sell, so I’m completely satisfied.

So, now I’m in packing mode. Thankfully, the way I store my stuff is very convenient for packing. In fact, most of my things were simply moved in the bins they are stored in without any additional packing at all – beautiful. While I appreciate collections in other people’s homes, I’m not much of a knick knack person, so clearing off my spaces was pretty quick and painless. Basically, within an hour I had my whole room mostly packed and ready to go, with the exception of my clothes.

So, at this point I’m anticipating making my official move within the week. Most of my stuff and furniture went over Tuesday, though I’ll still be sleeping at my current place for a few more days. In the mean time I’ll be working on getting my clothes all sorted, washed, and either packed in their crates or donated to Goodwill.

It was such a funny feeling last night when I was looking around at my almost entirely empty room. I. Loved. It. As much as I like color and interest in a room too, there is absolutely something to be said for minimalism and clear spaces. There was a sense of peace in it.

But, I won’t have a totally empty apartment, so here is what I’ve been learning about the avoidance of too much junk.

1. Use what you have instead of buying more. Don’t get me wrong, I like to have spares and stock up on things, but it’s also important to use what you have. I found that I was loosing a lot of space storing random things like many multiples and variations of hair sprays and gels that I don’t use and have been keeping in my closet for literally years or 3 half filled bottles of the same lotion. So, I made a conscious effort to use what I had and dwindled my supply. It’s amazing how much room I have now without all of those extras taking up space.

2. Make the hard call. I think I need to get rid of my desk. Oh, I “love” that desk. It was one of the first furniture purchases I made for myself in college. The thing is, I don’t use it. Oh, it stores my abundance of pens and pencils (of which many don’t actually work), it houses the papers that I want to do something with but don’t know what, and it is a convenient display of my few little trinkets I keep on hand – but really, I don’t use it. I don’t remember the last time I sat down at that desk and did something. So, hurt as it might, I has to go. I would much rather get a love seat and have some comfortable seating in that spot than a desk I don’t use. Sometimes you just have to make the hard call.

3. Rely on God. I wonder if some of our stockpiling doesn’t show a sense of self sufficiency rather than trust that God will provide our needs? While deciding to move my desk out one of my big considerations has been, “Well, what if I need a desk some day, then I won’t have it! Then what?” But that train of thought is unnecessary and maybe even based in sin. I’m not saying we shouldn’t make preparations as we are led, but when it comes right down to it, God promises to provide our needs. That may not include our wants, but our needs are ever before Him as a good Father. So the balance is to be wise with what we have but not worry about what we may or may not need years from now – God’s got it covered.

So, here we are. I was over at the new place setting up what I could and am borderline giddy over it all. I’m sure reality will set in before long (basement spiders and the pitter patter of little feet from above…), but I’m gonna ride this wave of thankfulness as long as possible and see where it brings me.

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MAC

I’ve lost count of how many times in the last few years I’ve looked at the events of the world around me and said, “I don’t want any part of this.” I am not what most would call “a student of history”, but even I can see where things are headed. I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to see that our culture has peaked, and baring a major change of direction, we are soon to go the way of many great civilizations that have come before…and are no longer.

Maybe that’s strongly stated, maybe. But with perhaps less of a dramatic flair, it would be naive to think America will forever be the greatest world power, especially when we hold that position even now tentatively. And when we’re no longer king of the hill, then what?

I think of how much our culture has changed, just in my short just-under-three decades. Then again, maybe my childhood ignorance was my bliss. Maybe things have always been as they are, I’m simply now slightly more informed. Maybe. But either way, I look around at the evil, the slow stripping of our once dearly held freedoms, the attacks made against the very way of life I hold dear and I can’t help but say, “I don’t want any part of this.”

I’ll freely admit, the “hermit” life holds a certain appeal to me. The thought of going off, not even totally alone, but just me and a few select people and just living out our life in peace and quiet. Simple, disconnected, safe – leaving this world, and its systems that are so foreign to what I hold to be right and true, far behind as only a distant memory. But, if the movie, “The Village”, taught me anything, it would be that try as we might, run as we may, we’ll eventually be found by evil, even if it’s within ourselves.

So, decamping isn’t a good option. Where does that leave me? While one part of me wants to head for the hills, another says, “What will be, will be. Make the most of the time we’re given.” But that perhaps is the opposite extreme. On one hand I want to say “good riddance”, on the other hand I wish I was still blissfully ignorant, like the multitude stuck in “the Matrix” (my my, it seems my old school movie references are getting a little dust off.) Like the traitor that agrees to sell out the resistance for the chance to get plugged back in, wiping his memory of what the real state of the world is and simply live out his life eating steak and living at the peak of civilization. In a way, I get that. But that doesn’t satisfy either.

Here again, I look to history. You see, my dissatisfaction with my surroundings comes from a misguided belief that this is the worst things have ever been. But objectively speaking, it’s not. As the song says, “It’s all been done before.” In the light of the span of time, we live in relative freedom, safety, and comfort. Yes, there is evil, but there always has been (minus a short span of time in the very beginning…but even that didn’t last.) And here we are.

But here’s the light I’ve been holding on to recently. How many times has civilization been on the brink of disaster – more than can be counted. And in many cases, what was the redeeming factor? The actions of a few, even one. We are here, in this day and this time for a reason, a purpose higher than ourselves. It may be that we see things the way we do so that we can be the “one” and “few”. Who knows, history may look back at your life some day and say, “We’re still here because of that person.” And that’s something worth sticking around for.

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MAC

Well, equal opportunity has finally arrived.

For years, longer than I’ve been alive, feminists have decried the objectifying of women. True statements such as, “We are not property”, “We are not a collection of body parts”, and “We are not toys for your amusement” have been preached from the rooftops. While at the same time these same women have been working just as hard to push for the objectification of men. Go figure.

Have you noticed it?

When I was in middle school and high school (or at least that’s around the time when we all started noticing the opposite gender and finding them peculiarly intriguing), boys that we liked were “cute”. Sure, there were “those” girls (aren’t there always) who were absolutely convinced they would marry some movie star, but for the most part the girls I knew weren’t as obsessed with a guys looks (though certainly that was part of the package) as much as just wanting the status of being in a relationship – if he was cute that was a huge bonus.

But I’ve noticed a shift over the past several years since graduating. In the minds of younger and younger girls, boys are beginning to look different. I’ve heard parents encourage their preschoolers to call classmates their boyfriend/girlfriend. I’ve heard elementary girls call boys “hot”. I’ve heard high school girls whistle and “cat call” boys as they’re jogging by.

What is going on?!

But rather than pointing the fingers at our girls, how about we take a look at ourselves? Heard of the book, “Fifty Shades of Grey”? This book (series? I don’t know) was hugely popular this past year. But is it harmless fiction? Let’s put it this way, it’s so sexually charged that even main stream media makes fun of it as “book porn”. (As referenced in the Office episode: Promos) So there’s that…

Then, a few years ago there was a disturbing trend of women in their 40′s and 50′s absolutely going crazy over the “Twilight” series, especially the numerous shirtless photos…

And then there are the commercials. Now, let’s just be real, we all know that sex sells. The marketing industry has capitalized on this for many, many years – but I think it’s getting worse. As I’ve said before, I’m not much of a TV person, but I do catch a few shows online and honestly the commercials have been disturbing me recently (prompting this post).

First there was the one which showed three very young and attractive women at a pool party detailing how much body hair they like on a guy and where they like it (while of course advertising a razor that trims and precision shaves to “give her what she wants” – blech!). It was awkward and a little gross. There is also a strange female dominatrix/Amazonian trend popping up – which quite honestly totally weirds me out. Then there was the one where it shows a guy cooking with salad dressing (?) and talking in a husky voice asking how “hot” and “spicy” you want it. Then towards the end it gets so “spicy” the flame flares up and sears his shirt right off.

Really? This is what is going to sell that salad dressing? Sad to say, apparently so.

The thing is, if we took these exact same commercials but swapped out the genders we women would be crying foul and firing up the BBQ pit for a “pig roast”. Don’t deny it, it’s true.

Hopefully by now you can see my point, but I’d like to bring it just a step closer to home. More than once I’ve heard the conversations of young and older women alike talking about men’s bodies as objects to be lusted over. Unfortunately, this is no longer a uniquely universal male problem. We women are just as at fault, only, no one seems to be upset over it.

But we should be. The objectifying, and really, dehumanizing of a person created in God’s image is always wrong and damaging, regardless of gender or age. The rate of male eating disorders has skyrocketed in the past decade while at the same time self-esteem is plummeting. And it’s easy to see why, everything around them says their only value is having a six pack (abs, not beer, well that too, but you get what I’m saying), being hairless and “pleasing their woman”. No wonder so many men act like wimps! We’ve made them that way!

Men (and women) are more than their bodies. They are more than a paycheck. They are more than someone to be there when we need a hug. They are more than someone tall and strong to open our jars, reach things on high shelves and do our heavy lifting. They are more than an object for women to use. Men have value and deserve respect, not because they are male, but because they are human! Men have feelings just like women and they, and our society, are only going to get weaker as this trend continues.

A society that objectifies and demeans women is a major issue, but the solution in this case isn’t equal opportunity. Without a high value and respect for all people, regardless of age, gender, or creed, we all suffer.

We need to learn how to appreciate men, their whole being, rather than simply drooling over them. Honestly, how unladylike! We can (and should) do much better!

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MAC